Some parents have estranged relationships with their children. Whether the estrangement was caused by bad decisions, alienation by the other parent, geographical constraints, service in the military and separation from the child for a long period of time, or other reasons, there is no better time than the present to take the first step. Some parents might be afraid of being rejected by their child, but children need their parents. Taking the first step to reconnect can sometimes be the hardest, but it is also the most important.
Take the initiative to reconnect.
There is no manual on how to be a perfect parent, and there is no perfect parent. As a parent, if you do not have a relationship with your child, the worst thing you can do is sit back and think, “He will come to me when he is ready.” If you are a parent in this situation, you must take the initiative and set a good example by doing the right thing. Reaching out to let your child know you care or going to court to get court ordered time to spend with your child is an important first step.
Focus on the present, and get to know your child.
When you are with your child, focus your time on the present and the future. What events is your child involved in? What school projects is your child involved in? Who are your child’s teachers? What is your child’s best friend’s name? What activities is your child interested in? Is your child being bullied at school? Ask questions. Your child will appreciate your interest and will derive confidence from having a positive relationship with you. Do not focus on the past. Do not speak ill of the other parent. Do not discuss your hardships, whatever they may be.
Set a schedule and be committed to building the relationship.
If you go through the court system to establish or re-establish a regular schedule with your child, be proactive, prepared and persistent. There may be steps you have to take before you can get the schedule you want, and it may take time. Do whatever you have to do to rebuild the relationship, and do not give up. It will mean the world to your child.
When you hear the word “divorce,” you probably have an image of what the process will be like. Perhaps you assume that each party will hire an attorney; take a polarized negotiation position; and repeatedly go to court to fight over issues of property division, custody, and spousal support. Perhaps you fear that after years of failed negotiation attempts, a judge who does not know you, your children, or your family will decide issues that affect every aspect of your life. Perhaps you believe that litigation is the only method through which you can get what you want or are entitled to in a divorce. That belief is not true. There is another process: collaborative law.
As a follow up to my last blog post, on Friday December 7, 2012, the United States Supreme Court announced that it would hear, not one, but two gay marriage cases. The first is Windsor v. United States 699 F.3d 169 (2012), which comes out of an October 2012 ruling from the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, and was the subject of my prior post. The second case, Perry v. Hollingsworth 704 F.Supp 2d 921 (N. D. Cal 2010) comes out of the 9th Circuit in California.
All too often, litigants work tirelessly to finalize a comprehensive parenting order only to have disputes over parenting time after the order is entered. The purpose of this article is to provide a few practical tips to deal with these common problems, including some new remedies for litigants provided by recent amendments to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act.
There are presently 10 pending appeals potentially before the Supreme Court addressing the issue of same sex marriage. 8 of the 10 appeals directly challenge the controversial Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on equal protection grounds. DOMA has already been declared unconstitutional by the 1st and 2nd Circuit Courts of Appeal, as well as by other courts.
Major League Baseball (MLB) is deciding this off-season whether to extend instant replay to other areas of the game. Meanwhile, former LA. Dodgers owner Frank McCourt is facing his own instant replay issue this off-season.
When parties are negotiating terms of a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) or a Joint Parenting Agreement (JPA) at the eleventh hour, they might be inclined to make concessions for the sake of “getting it over with.” Perhaps the parties are inclined to insert a provision into the agreement that will not take effect for a couple of years and assume they will deal with it at that time. However, parties should be very aware of and sensitive to the language in such an agreement because a court is likely to enforce the terms.
There is nothing shocking or new when we hear or read about actors, actresses or others in the entertainment world “sleeping around”. Affairs, multiple marriages, and divorces seem to be the norm. Society does not seem to fault them and, indeed, is entertained reading and hearing about their affairs.
The holidays evoke universal feelings of peace, joy and hope. Yet, for some individuals going through the difficult process of a divorce, the mere mention of the holiday season causes anxiety. While it may seem impossible to enjoy yourself in light of your situation, rest assured it is not. Following just a few tips during the upcoming months may be all you need to enjoy the true spirit of the holidays.
The phrase “There’s no such thing as bad publicity” is most frequently linked to Oscar Wilde’s “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” In the world of NASCAR, many NASCAR drivers love publicity no matter the form. However, not everyone associated with NASCAR likes publicity, good or bad, when it comes to their personal confrontations. NASCAR’s Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Brian France is taking steps to keep his family confrontations in his post-divorce proceedings private.
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